I ♥ Sluts

The other day I was coming from ballet and walking back to my car. I'd taken off my tights and was just in my leotard and spankies. This old lady looked at me and said, "Oh honey, don't dress like that. You're gonna get raped."

Really? It's over 90 degrees outside, but I'm supposed to be wearing tights and a sweater because something about my leotard inspires violent and misogynistic crime?

Really?

There is this terrifying culture of "slut shaming" that I see around me, and it pisses me off. When it comes to rape, we as a society are so quick to blame the victim. "She was asking for it because she was dressed that way." I see where this comes from. For one thing, there's the need to paint the victim as being somehow different from us. We need to distance ourselves from her so we don't have to face the fact that we could be her. Then there's the more salient fact that to admit the victim is blameless is to admit that there are problems in our society that make it dangerous for women to walk home alone at night, or wear tight clothes, or even just exist. That's crap.

We need to place the blame where it belongs: with the rapist and the patriarchy who created him. Because if we don't address the actual problem and keep blaming women, we'll never fix that problem and the cycle of violence will continue. As it has. I see it all the time. Men hit on me all the time on BART, on the street, on the bus. They talk to my chest or just stare at me. And I'm not even wearing "slutty" clothes. But even if I were, that's not ok. I don't stare at men's junk through their cargo shorts, do I? It's not ok for women to stare at men's crotches because it's rude, but when men look at me and make me feel really uncomfortable, it's just "boys being boys." Which is just one step away from, "Rape is just boys being boys." Which is "It's men's right to look at you. You're just an object, a pretty thing for their amusement." No. I'm just trying to get to school. Fuck off.

So head high sluts, ballerinas, high-heel lovers, and anyone else. And I will be dressing in my shorts and a low cut top when I feel like it. And I will walk back to my car without having a man accompany me. Why?

Because I should be able to.